A short time ago a forwarded email came to me asking if I knew anyone in need of help. There was a church group who wanted to help some of their fellow Abbotsfordians in getting on their feet and moving forward with their lives. Toward that end they had requested suggestions for people they could help. The person they made the request of forwarded it on, it was forwarded on and so on until it landed in my email box.

It was heartening to hear of people interested in making a difference, who had gotten together to take positive action on their own initiative without waiting around for instructions. What I particularly liked about their approach is they wanted it to be hands on, not looking strictly to give money or some other material object, although such actions were a possibility. They were looking to be involved with the people they would be helping on a continuing basis over the year.

One of the realities I have observed is that continuing support is needed to help achieve a successful outcome in changing lives. Your time, concern and a willingness to listen and just talk are in many ways far more important a contribution than merely material items be they money, furniture, food etc.

We often forget that Man is a social animal. For years due to mental illness and other issues I was a loner, able to go for days (weeks or months at my lowest point) without seeing or interacting with people. One of my concerns as my recovery progressed was slipping back into that isolation. It turned out one of my counsellors was correct; I had reached a point in my recovery where I could not comfortably go back to being a loner.

I am still sometimes surprised by my need these days for social interaction, make that healthy social interaction. What with car troubles and other looming changes life has been a little stressful lately. A good friend called and we did coffee, finishing just minutes ago.

Some of the conversation was about the car and forthcoming changes, but most was about other interesting things going on in Abbotsford and our lives. Being able to sit down and write this comment on the “help needed” email and the thoughts it raised in my mind, is a reflection of what a calming, centering effect a simple coffee and conversation can have.

I also really liked the education possibilities. The church group would get the opportunity to know the people involved and see past the stereotypes; get to observe the many barriers that have come to exist in our society and its structure for those trying to get on with their lives after some problem or trauma had knocked them down; they would also see what difference even simple actions like sharing a coffee can have.

For those who would be on the receiving end of the help there would be the opportunity to change mental thought patterns. It is amazing just how negative an effect on your thought processes, patterns and outlook the beating your mind, your Self, takes in being homeless, addicted, poor or just on a unlucky streak has. An important aspect of your recovery turns out to be to change your way of thinking, of perceiving.

It is an idea with plenty of potential on both sides of the equation, the catch?

Even off the tops of people’s heads and on short notice the list of those in need in our community was overwhelming, far outstripping what this group could do. The request revealed a breadth and depth of need that is daunting and a little frightening.

It is perhaps a little damning that we as a community have failed to see this need and have allowed it to become so deep and wide spread. As a positive balance to this, those forwarding the request are working on finding ways to address the rest of the listed needs.

In that lies what is truly needed for our City, Canadian society, to begin to successfully address the social ills and problems we face: the involvement of the people of the community in helping other members of the community. Sitting around, waiting for someone to tell you what to do, fancy planning or plans will not do it.

The beginning of the end of social ills lies with people simply getting out, getting together and taking actions to address what is needed.